Let Love be the Lens: Life Lessons from a Trappist Monk #1

In this series of blog posts, Life lessons from a Trappist Monk, I share the wisdom of my late friend Brother Rene, who was a monk at the Abbey of Gethsemani for over fifty years. For many years we corresponded by letter, and here I share excerpts from his letters.

 “Do not give up hope. The Little Flower (Therese of Lisieux) had great desires and deep emotional feelings about her life in this world. She rightly taught that her deeply felt desires were inspired by God and God would not give them to her were He not able to fulfill them.” Brother Rene, From letter dated, January 13, 2003

I am learning to get to know another part of myself, but sometimes I can’t quite hold on to it. It goes in and out of focus. My tendency is to doubt myself, and as a result hold back. In that holding is fear, and for many years that fear has learned to disguise itself and live tucked away in my body.

Well, in the last month, my neck has been screaming: I’m stuck! And I reached a point where I couldn’t turn my neck freely. I’ve changed my pillow and started physical therapy, and it’s improving slowly. But this experience of being stuck has a lot to say to me. Where am I stuck, and what wants to turn in a new direction?

As the new year began, I wrote in my journal: Let yourself be seen in Love. 

In her autobiography, Story of a Soul,  Therese wrote, “What matters in life is not great deeds, but great love.” She lived and taught a spirituality of attending to everything with love. Therese’s spirituality is of doing the ordinary, with extraordinary love.” (from the website of the Society of the Little Flower)

How can I let myself be seen in love–from myself and from others? As I re-read this excerpt from Brother Rene’s letters, I ask myself: What is my deepest desire right now? It’s a question worth reflecting on, because our desires change, as we change; they grow and mature.

My desire now is to take up my whole life. I want to encourage the part of me that tends to look at my life through a window to step outside and feel the fresh air. God wants to fulfill me, but I hold back; nevertheless, the places where I am stuck are graced places. It is in the stuck places, where I do not give up hope. It’s in the stuck places, where I touch my desire.

In a quiet moment, ask yourself: where am I stuck? What do I desire now? Let God listen. Do not give up hope. 

If you would like to read more from my correspondence with Brother René, check out my forthcoming book, which contains excerpts from our letters: Seeking Surrender: How my Friendship with a Trappist Monk Taught me to Trust and Embrace Life (Ave Maria Press, April 2015).