Following my star
It’s Christmas morning. I am sitting in my living room, with a fire crackling, the Christmas lights on the tree twinkling. It is dawn, and once again I was up too early.
Yesterday, a friend and I were talking about the new year and the intentions we would like to set. There is tremendous power in intention. I have noticed that even setting a daily intention, such as being compassionate to myself and others, directs my energy throughout the day. My intention for this Christmas day is to allow the love of the divine spirit to pour into me and out of me.
Lately, I’ve been thinking that it might not be about my circumstances as much as about my orientation to them that is affecting how I move and feel throughout my days. My friend, though, believes that it is our situations and the conditions we live in that affect us every day. Well, in some ways, she is more externally driven, and I am more internally driven, which is why we are attracted to one another.
Can I find happiness in my circumstances, even though I am tired most days and it is hard to keep pushing myself at work? Am I just settling because of age and fatigue? Is there something else that is better for me to be doing, or is it time for me to focus on my being more? Have I become such a realist that I’m not dreaming big enough?
Rather than try to change anything right now, I have decided to follow the teaching of winter. Winter is a time to hibernate. It is a time when seeds and bulbs will be planted deep in the soil, and patience and faith will bring them to blossom in their own time.
I planted three seeds in the earth today: my writing, my job, and my sleeping. And rather than continue telling myself that I am frustrated with my shortcomings in these areas, I am putting them into the soil, and allowing the nutrients deep in the rich earth to bring about new growth.
This takes mental discipline, as well as spiritual discipline. I will wait in the winter months, and allow the inspiration of Christmas, of new birth, of lights, or divine energy to expand my understanding and lead me to follow my star.