Living into Surrendering: Allowing

Living Into Surrendering, day 3: Allowing

I have decided to live into surrender more consciously for 21 days, and share the journey with others, for the benefit of our own peace of mind, and the peace of those around us.

Yesterday was a full day at work. I had to meet the new folks at my two new school sites and visit the libraries. The first library I walked into was in really transition, with the books all in boxes since the space had been painted over the summer. In addition to that, a new schedule had to be created, adding more classes. I will only be working there one-day a week, so I was mindful of my boundaries, yet wanting to be responsive.

In yesterday’s blog, I wrote:  I will…be intentional about living surrender: to what comes to me, and to what wants to move through me. And there I was smack in the middle of needing to live this intention to surrender.

My small discovery was that by holding this intention to surrender, I didn’t get lost in my habitual, knee-jerk reactions and emotions to an overwhelming situation. I could see a more clearly what I could do, and what I couldn’t do. I was able to establish some boundaries in the situation, yet take on appropriate responsibility.  In fact, surrender changed the tone of the day for me: allowing me to be more grounded, present, and accepting. 

The other day, I was listening to Jonathan Montaldo speak about Thomas Merton’s teaching on “the school of your own experience.” It reminded me once again, that our lives–the ones we are living every day–are our spiritual lives. We are always living our spiritual lives; there isn’t a separation.

And by opening up to surrender in one area of my life, it affects another areas of my life. Later that evening, my husband and I were being intimate, and I found myself caught up for a moment in chasing after my expectations. Again, I heard the call to surrender. So I stopped for a moment, took a few deep breaths, and asked myself: what would surrender look like, be like in this moment? 

By the simple act of stopping, taking a deep breath, and asking myself this question, I opened up the experience and allowed it to unfold in its own special way.

The more we let go of trapping any situation with our stubborn expectations, and allow the Divine to be acting and moving in us, the more we can allow each moment and situation to manifest in its own unique way. We allow ourselves to meet our real lives, and not some illusion or image of what we imagine our lives to be.

I close by sharing this psalm, as something you can reflect on, remembering that we can always ask for God’s grace to help us surrender, every moment.

Psalm 119: 145-152 

I call with all my heart; answer me, Lord,
and I will obey your decrees.
I call out to you; save me
and I will keep your statutes.

I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I have put my hope in your word.
My eyes stay open through the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promises.

Hear my voice in accordance with your love;
preserve my life, Lord, according to your laws.
Those who devise wicked schemes are near,
but they are far from your law.

Yet you are near, Lord,
and all your commands are true.
Long ago I learned from your statutes
that you established them to last forever.