Truly receiving gifts

Can gratitude become the foundation of my life? Recently my brother was in town during the Thanksgiving holiday. He is a good guy and I am glad we could spend time together. But after he left,  the old demon of comparison had me in its grip. My brother was fortunate enough to make enough money early in his career so he doesn’t have to stress about an income anymore. Of course, I wish that was my story, but it isn’t.

After he left, I could hear the laundry list of disappointments growing in my head. I talked about it with my husband, who also expressed his own frustrations. The more we carried on with the conversation, the darker the room became and the thicker the air felt. And, as though a bell rang, a loud school bell, I realized that I was just being destructive. That my response was old and familiar and completely unsatisfying. I was not being grateful!

“I am going to destroy my life with this ungrateful response,” I said. I opened the window in the bedroom and began to toss all the negative, ungrateful responses out the window. “Goodbye,” we both said.

I have become so clear that a lack of gratitude will destroy me and those around me — it will steal my spirit and leave me out in the cold. It’s not the right response to the gift of life. Now, every day, I am nurturing gratitude by keeping a thankfulness journal. I jot down in the morning or the evening, 5 things I am grateful for. Since the Christmas season is one of gift giving, I have chosen to really receive the absolute gift of my life and say Thank You!